socializing - How should I approach a situation were I said something wrong and somebody else reported it?

I'll clarify my question right away:I'm 20, from France.While drunk at a party organized at a friend's house, I was with 4 friends in a room when somebody joked about a girl I brought: "Hey, you brought here to flirt right lmao?", which I responded to (still joking) amongst the line of "Yeah, of course, but seems like a fail for me so if anybody want's to try she's single".Except the people I was with didn't hear what I said, but one of them decided to tell her, which got me in big trouble. I sent a message to the guy who told her because I tho...Read more

socializing - How to listen to music without looking antisocial?

A lot of people wear headphones or earbuds, often with no music playing, as a sign that they don't want to be bothered. But maybe I want to listen to music when in public, perhaps simply for the fact that I'm bored because I'm not talking to anybody. Of course, I don't want to play it through speakers, because that would be inconsiderate. Is there a way to listen to music in public without seeming inconsiderate or antisocial?My goal is to listen to music while still sending the message that I'm open for communication. I'm more interested in sit...Read more

socializing - What jobs/workplace environments are more conducive to social interaction?

Some programmers are not social individuals and are happy at their terminal all day. Others are more social. I have seen claims that "The happiest Americans report 7-8 hours of social interaction a day–face time, not Facebook".What programming related jobs (i.e. jobs which require a background in programming.) highly value interpersonal skills? On the other end of the spectrum, which jobs require little in the way of interpersonal skills?I have been in a few workplaces where it was dead silent and am trying to find jobs where that is not the ca...Read more

socializing - How to get a friend with Asperger's to engage in more of a mutual conversation

So I've known this girl as a stranger for years and this past week we actually interacted and chatted for an hour. She told me a lot about herself, and expressed interest in hanging out the next time we're at the program that we see each other at (which meets once a week). I could see this person becoming a friend that I won't regret the time I spend with her, except for one thing.As it became relevant to our conversation, she told me that she was ADHD and had "some Asperger's". She was very open about these things, which I was glad about be...Read more

socializing - Arranging drinks with laid off coworkers in close-knit team

I work in a close-knit team of about 20 that just suffered layoffs. Some of the surviving employees and laid off employees are friends, and several survivors have suggested arranging drinks with the entire former team. Keep in mind that we were all at the same level of the hierarchy, roughly speaking.I am aware of the potential for this arrangement to be awkward, both because some of us still have jobs and others don't and because the company might not be happy about us getting together. Is it at all advisable for us to meet for drinks and what...Read more

socializing - Dealing with language barrier in social gatherings

I moved to a new country last year for the end of my studies. The local language is English, which I can read, write, speak and understand without too much effort... at work. I have absolutely no problem in professional contexts, or in a small group conversation with 3-4 people. On the other hand, things get really, really tricky in social contexts. If I hang out with colleagues/friends in a bar, or a dinner for example, I can understand maybe 10-20% of any given conversation because of music, background noise, people speaking really fast, slan...Read more

socializing - Can work mandate social activities in South Africa

Can management force you to partake in social activities in South Africa i.e. can employers make social activities (or part of it) mandatory? Is there any legislation that can assist me and if so can I please be directed to the relevant section?Please note that the social activity in during work hours for a short duration which employees work back and sponsor. This is also not CSI related. Thank you...Read more

socializing - How to talk slower in a energetic way?

Last few weeks I've been going out talking to random people at different speech speeds. After the talk I asked them to be brutally honest with me -- and tell me what their first impression was of me.Although answers were influenced by the kindness of most people, they still got me on this interesting conclusion. When I talk fast I become very energetic and proactive but people don't take me serious. However when I slow down my speech, people do take me very serious but think I'm boring.Actors and public speakers seem to pull it off to talk s...Read more

socializing - how can I help my team be included in company social events?

I manage a small team of myself and 2 others. The other software engineering teams at my organization tend to all get along and interact with each other socially a lot, while my team members are excluded.For example, an employee recently left the company and the other teams in my department all took them out to a farewell lunch. My team was not invited.I'm a bit more of a introvert and less concerned that I personally was not invited, but I worry about my team members becoming demoralized since they were not included.What can I do to help my te...Read more

socializing - Tips on getting people not to talk about work during work lunches or gatherings

It is interesting to find that many social events that are organized by managers or teams for the purpose of getting employees to socialize outside of work hours (e.g. lunchtime or after work events) end up being seen as another opportunity for people to complain/discuss/gossip about work related topics. I think constructive discussions about work outside of the work environment over a meal or an activity can help generate new ideas. However, the type of complaint or gossipy type of conversation usually seems to contribute to the build-up of fr...Read more

socializing - How do I distance myself from a clique that's constantly mocking my colleagues?

There is a small group of people in the office who have formed a clique of sorts. They go out to eat together, constantly talk to or IM each other, have inside jokes, all sorts of fun stuff. When I started working here around 5 months ago, it seemed like they wanted to initiate me into the group. I have no idea why but I have now been getting IMs from a couple of them during meetings. Perhaps my being polite was mistaken as intent to be non-professional friends?These IMs range anywhere from idle chitchat to making fun of our coworkers for vario...Read more

socializing - how can I cancel my Involvement in a company football competition in order to go to a industry talk/event

Tomorrow there is a company football team going to partake in the first part of an industry football competition. I only started this job recently so I put my name forward to be on the team just for the social aspect (not really big fan of football and have incredibly average football ability). The dates for these matches where confirmed a few weeks ago but I only realized today the match clashes with an industry talk. There is a new executive who is joining our company and all staff are invited. The event sounds like a lot of fun and I think t...Read more